Even if we grant that you can be as ori­gi­nal wit­hin the uni­ver­sity as up in your gar­ret, we must con­cede the pos­si­bi­lity that some­thing is lost by living a divi­ded life. Inten­sity per­haps. The abi­lity to focus hard and long on big, ambi­tious pro­jects. A great wri­ter, after all, must tra­vel daily to a men­tal sub­con­ti­nent, must rip into the work, expe­ri­en­cing the exer­tion of it, the anxiety of it and, once in a blue moon, the glory of it. It’s fine for wri­t­ing teachers to talk in self-help jar­gon about how their lives require „balance“ and „shif­ting gears“ bet­ween teaching and wri­t­ing, but below that civil lan­guage lurks the uncom­for­ta­ble fact that the crea­tion of lite­ra­ture requi­res a degree of mono­ma­nia, and that it is, at least in part, an irra­tio­nal enter­prise. It’s hard to throw your whole self into some­thing when that self has ano­ther job.

[…]

For most of us, the opti­ons aren’t teaching or wri­t­ing all day in a barn but teaching or working at the Dairy Queen. It’s not just a ques­tion of suc­cess or even genius, but tem­pe­ra­ment and disci­pline. Young wri­ters think all they need is time, but give them that time and watch them implode. After all, there’s some­thing basi­cally insane about sit­ting at a desk and tal­king to your­self all day, and there’s a rea­son that wri­ters are second only to medi­cal stu­dents in instan­ces of hypo­chon­dria. In iso­la­tion, our minds turn on us pretty quickly. Ⅰ have two wri­ter fri­ends, suc­cess­ful nove­lists who could afford not to teach, who insist that rather than detract from their wri­t­ing, their lives as pro­fes­sors are what allow them to write, and that given more free time, they would crum­ble. The job pro­vi­des a safety net above the abyss of fac­ing the dif­fi­culty of crea­ting every day, making an irra­tio­nal thing feel more rational.

Yet no mat­ter how much sup­port you have, how many sche­du­les you make or how many books you’ve writ­ten before, there remains the basic irra­tio­na­lity of the task: you are sit­ting by your­self try­ing to make some­thing out of not­hing, and you rarely know where you’re going next. Crea­ting your own world is an invi­ta­tion to solip­sism, if not nar­cis­sism, and as well as being alone when we work, we are left, for the most part, to judge by our­sel­ves if we have suc­cee­ded or fai­led in our tasks. (Three gues­ses in which direc­tion we most often lean.) My father suc­cinctly sum­ma­ri­zed his fee­lings about my choice to dedi­cate my 20s to wri­t­ing fic­tion. „You’re not living in the real world,“ he said. Ⅰ reac­ted with a young man’s defen­siv­en­ess, but in retro­s­pect his assess­ment seems less cri­ti­cal than a mat­ter of fact.

The Col­lege Issue – Those Who Write, Teach – NYTi​mes​.com.

Groß­ar­ti­ger Essay über das Schrei­ben und den Broterwerb—warum Schrei­ben, Nicht-Schreiben und die Lehre gut für die Geis­tes­hy­giene sind und schlecht für die Gemüts­ruhe sein können.

David Gess­ner ist Autor und Pro­fes­sor für Crea­tive Wri­t­ing an der Uni­ver­sity of North Caro­lina Wilming­ton.

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